How to Pick Your Bridesmaids - Clarence House Weddings

How to Pick Your Bridesmaids

When it comes time to decide on which of your friends and family members will serve as your bridesmaids on your special day, it can be a stressful process. That’s why it’s important to take a close look at this list of factors that should come into play when making this crucial decision.

1. How Many Should I Choose?

The number of bridesmaids you choose should have a direct correlation with the amount of guests at your wedding. A good rule of thumb, according to numerous wedding experts, is that you should have a groomsman and a bridesmaid for every 50 guests in attendance.

However, this is not a hard and fast rule and many brides will choose fewer bridesmaids or additional bridesmaids, basing their eventual decision on personal factors. If you’re planning a large, lavish wedding, then a large number of bridesmaids is typically best. For a smaller, more intimate gathering, fewer are necessary.

2. More Is Not Always The Merrier

If you insist of having a large number of bridesmaids, then you should be aware that a larger number of bridesmaids can very easily lead to a larger number of issues. When planning a wedding and dealing with all of the associated stresses, the last thing you need is your bridesmaids providing additional complications.

It is important to remember that all of the bridesmaids’ bouquets and any other additional needs will come out of your budget. Additionally, the more people you involve means having more people to run certain decisions by. A day that should be all about you can quickly become the domain of others if you’re not careful.

3. Don’t Forget Your Relatives

The temptation to simply pick your best friends and exclude certain relatives is very real. For many close knit families, the very thought of not being including is absurd. Regardless of your family situation, including your family members is a great way to sidestep any potential conflict before it can start.

Even if there is a cousin you’re not particularly close with or an aunt who is insisting to be included, give strong consideration to allowing them to come aboard. It could save you a heap of trouble in the long run.

4. No Need To Return Favours

Women often feel as if they need to include those who’ve invited them to be in their wedding party in years past. The reality is that you should not feel at all obligated to include certain people if you do not want to. Your wedding day should be geared towards what you want, not fulfilling old debts so that you can have a clear conscience.

Inviting that friend from your past that you haven’t been close with in many years to be your bridesmaid is not only unnecessary, but can cause undue tension between the rest of your bridesmaids.

5. Location Is Important

It is vital that you choose bridesmaids who live close by, especially if they are going to play a major role in the planning of your weddings. That close friend who lives across the country may be your preferred choice, but she may also only be able to attend the actual ceremony and will be of little help during the early stages.

If all you need is a little moral support and friends who will show up on time for the wedding, then feel free to choose anyone you’d like. But your friends who live far away or work stressful jobs with long hours may not be up to the task if you require extra work.

6. Do Not Make Financial Assumptions 

Don’t choose any of your bridesmaids based off any preconceived notions you may have. Assuming that your friend does not have the money to purchase your preferred bridesmaid’s dress could lead to bad blood between the two of you. If you are planning on selecting a bridesmaid who is having financial difficulties, talk to her beforehand.

She may either be up to the task, or your conversation will give her the window she needs to gracefully bow out. Perhaps talking to her prior to the wedding gives you the heads up you need to include her expenses in your budget, if this is a friend who you can’t fathom getting married without.

7. You May Include Male Friends

If you have close male friends who you wish to include in your bridal party, you may do so. A man who stands on the bride’s side during the ceremony is known as an attendant or a bridesman. You do not have to exclude any male friends due to their gender.

8. There Are Many Roles To Fill

For those who wish to be a part of your special day, but didn’t make the bridesmaid cut, there are a variety of tasks to be handled at the wedding. Whether it is handing out programs, attending to the needs of the guests, or even delivering a reading, there are a variety of roles a good friend can fill.

9. Let Your Guests Know When You’ve Decided

You may have a close friend who believes they are going to be a bridesmaid or a co-worker who thinks they will play a major role in your wedding. That’s why it is important to spread the news quickly, so that everyone knows exactly where they stand. By making this decision as rapidly as possible, you are able to check one of many tasks off your to-do list and focus on other important wedding related tasks.


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